Oh dear, it seems I have started a blog.  I’m not even sure I’m typing in the correct space yet.  Is this the heading?  Or is this an actual post?  God only knows, but I’m just gonna dive in and see what happens. It’s either this or I continue to torture everyone on Facebook with my  BIG IDEAS.
I actually decided to start a blog several years ago.  I was newly married for the second time, a freshly-appointed “matriarch” of a blended family, and I thought I had things to say.  The blog was going to be called “Heplusmeplusthem” (and I thought that was so clever because buried in that title is the word “lust”) and I thought I was going to share interesting musings about being a stepmom, balancing career and family, and the like.     I never wrote a single post on that blog.  I was not ready…or maybe I didn’t think you were ready.  Maybe I was afraid my truth was too much for your sensitive eyes.  Maybe I knew the truth was too much for my sensitive ego.  And it also turns out that I didn’t know diddly-doo-da about any of those things anyway.  That marriage didn’t last, because it turns out no amount of will, intestinal fortitude, and sheer grit can force a situation that the universe doesn’t want for you.  My will, not Thine be done?  Yeah, I tried that for a long time until someone kindly pointed out to me that I had it backwards.    It’s actually “THY will, not mine, be done”.    Ohhhhhhhhh.    I finally figured out that I’m a pretty mediocre cruise director for my life.   My “best ideas” are never as good as what the universe would have for me.  And when I lay back and float, rather than stand there with my clipboard trying to corral everyone into whatever shuffleboard game I think needs to happen next, I’m actually happier.  So here I am, sporting some mighty dope water wings/floaties these days. It’s an international pandemic, I’m an unemployed professional musician, a mom to two teenage boys, and I’ve got nothing but time and an old laptop that I’m not afraid to use anymore.  And, yeah, some big ideas.